Not long ago, I ran across a quote from a psychiatrist, Dr. Curt Thompson, who said:
“We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us… We remain in this mode of searching for the rest of our lives.” – Dr. Curt Thompson
“We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us”.
It’s Mother’s Day. And Mother’s Day is bittersweet for me—bitter as every year I grieve the absence of my own mother, whom I lost in 2019, and sweet as I do what I can to honor her legacy and celebrate my own motherhood.
“We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us”.
It’s long been scientifically proven that newborn babies are biologically hard-wired to seek and recognize their mother as soon as they’re born.
And while their vision may be blurry (as blurry as this picture of my mother and me, taken on the day I was born), a newborn can see at a distance of 8-12 inches. Which is perfect, because the average length of a woman’s humerus bone-that’s this upper arm bone here- on average, the distance from shoulder to elbow is approximately 10.9 to 12.8 inches! It’s the perfect distance for an infant to focus on her mother’s face.
“We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us… We remain in this mode of searching for the rest of our lives.” – Dr. Curt Thompson
The need to be seen,
The need to be heard,
The need to be known… is part of the human experience.
The need to be loved is universal.
And according to Dr. Thompson, we spend our lives searching for this kind of love—looking for someone who is looking for us.
Now, I could be wrong, but I believe that the reason we are born looking for someone who is looking for us, the reason we are all born searching, is because:
We were born to be loved.
We were made to be loved and to reflect that love to the rest of the world.
This morning, we’re talking about love, or rather, the longing we all have to be loved. The universal desire to be seen and known.
Barry kicked off this series last week, introducing a list of 7 longings that every human has at their core:
The want for: Love
The need for: Justice
The longing for some sort of: Spirituality
The hunger for: Truth
The craving for: Freedom
The attraction to: Beauty
And the desire for: Power
Now, this list comes to us via one of our favorite New Testament scholars, renowned theologian N.T. Wright. In his book Broken Signposts: How Christianity Makes Sense of the World, Wright argues that human beings regularly experience the world as something that we feel ought to make sense – but try as we might, we just can’t make it make sense!
He compares our inability to make sense of the world to what he calls “those incomprehensible instructions that come with flat-pack furniture!”
Like this couch:
A few years back my husband and I purchased this very couch, and it’s a wonder our marriage survived the assembly process!
There we are. That’s Jed on the left with the hammer…
These instructions would seem to indicate that we’re supposed to be able to make sense of how to put this thing together! We know that it ought to make sense! Because clearly, it made sense to somebody at some point! The designer, maybe?! Whoever engineered these instructions?!
But try as we might, we just can’t make sense of these pictures and symbols. At least not initially, and not without some degree of conflict! Over 23 years of marriage, 6 apartments, and 3 houses, we’ve assembled many a box of flat-pack furniture. And we. Are not. Good at it! We wrestle with how to make sense of these modern-day hieroglyphs!
This is why NT Wright calls these 7 longings “broken” signposts. They are things that seem to suggest that the world ought to make sense! Because clearly, the world must have made sense to somebody at some point! The designer, maybe?! Whoever engineered the human heart?
But like those instructions for flat-packed furniture, we continue to wrestle with how to make sense of things like love, justice, truth, spirituality, freedom, beauty, and power.
And so, with that in mind, I want you to think of this series as an invitation. It’s an invitation to wonder. To get curious. To come see for yourself whether what we believe is true, because we believe that these 7 broken signposts, these 7 universal yearnings, all function like trail markers that point us toward the transforming love of Jesus!
So I invite you to get curious! If you have a Bible with you this morning, please turn to John chapter 13. If you’re using one of our house Bibles, that’ll be on.
John 13 is a love story. A true love story because it depicts real love in action. It speaks to our inherent desire to be seen, heard, and known. To be loved for who we are, no matter who we are.
But before we explore this love story, I want to pause and pray for us. And while I’m praying, if you vibe with what I’m saying, I invite you just to quietly agree in your heart. That’s how we pray together, corporately. So would you bow your head with me as I pray for you, the active listener, and for me, the messenger?
Alright, let’s set the scene for John 13. Jesus and his disciples have made the annual pilgrimage to Jerusalem for the Passover festival. Two chapters earlier, John tells us that the disciples had already gone through the purification rituals required for Passover. And now they’re gathered, all 12 disciples and Jesus, about to share a meal together. In the ancient world, sharing a meal was an intimate act. And it’s in this intimate setting, in a private “upper room,” that the meal that has come to be known as The Last Supper took place.
Now, when most of us think of the Last Supper, we think of Da Vinci’s famous painting of Jesus and his disciples all sitting at a table. And that’s kind of unfortunate, because, no shade to Da Vinci, but this is not an accurate depiction of what that final supper would have looked like.
Hear me now, some of us have only ever seen inaccurate representations of Jesus. Or maybe, like this painting, we’ve seen depictions of Jesus that were only partially true, but didn’t tell the whole story. Because Da Vinci got it mostly right - Jesus did share a meal with his disciples. But the artist failed to reference the source material, choosing instead to interpret this event through his Western lens. This linear, medieval-looking banquet table is a far cry from what this scene actually would’ve looked like.
For our purposes this morning, this image does a much better job of depicting what a banquet would’ve looked like in 1st-century Rome. This is what the scene of the Last Supper would’ve looked like. And this is important because it will make some of the details of this story make a little more sense! So, keep this image in mind, and read along with me in John, chapter 13, starting at verse 1:
13 Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his Father. He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end.
I want to pause here for a second. Keep in mind that John is recording this event roughly 50 years after it happened. As he recalls the details, certain elements of the story begin to crystallize in his mind and it all starts coming together for John. In hindsight, he realizes that Jesus knew he’d be crucified less than 24 hours after this event. John wants us to know that Jesus loved his disciples to the very end. The Greek word used there is ‘telos’ - it means complete. John wants us to know that Jesus loved his friends so thoroughly and completely, even unto death!
Continuing on in verse 2:
2 It was time for supper, and the devil had already prompted Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. 4 So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, 5 and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.
Now, we don’t practice foot-washing as they did in the ancient world. In some cultures, it’s customary to take off your shoes before entering a home. And that’s because your shoes have been out there walking them dirty streets! While the streets of metropolitan Rome were brick-paved, most others were gravel-paved or dirt roads, and so sandal-clad feet were just dirty.
Therefore, foot-washing was a common cultural practice, and a job reserved for the lowest members of ancient society: slaves, subservient women, and young children.
And while it was customary for an honored guest to have his feet washed as a gesture of hospitality, here, Jesus flips the script! He inverts the cultural expectations of his day in such a way that would have been utterly inappropriate in the disciples' minds.
First of all, he gets up from the table. He leaves his place of honor and moves to the margins. He takes off his robe, his identifier, stripping down to a slave’s attire, towel and all! God-incarnate set aside his status to demonstrate love. And he did that by adopting the humble position of a slave, just like Paul said in Philippians 2:
5 …Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.
Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;
he took the humble position of a slave
As Jesus stoops low and begins to make his way around the table, tenderly washing what was then considered to be the filthiest part of the human body, you can almost feel the tension in the room. This scandalous demonstration of love in action was all too much for Peter.
We read in verse 6:
6 When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
7 Jesus replied, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”
8 “No,” Peter protested, “you will never ever wash my feet!”
Jesus replied, “Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me.”
We all want to belong to something bigger than ourselves!
“We are all born into the world looking for someone who is looking for us…”
When Jesus tells Peter, “Unless I wash you, you won’t belong to me,” it's an invitation that speaks to the core longing of Peter’s heart! To belong! And we can see how desperately Peter wanted this kind of belonging in the way that he responds in verse 9:
9 Simon Peter exclaimed, “Then wash my hands and head as well, Lord, not just my feet!”
I love the way John brings this story to life! In verse 10:
10 Jesus replied, “A person who has bathed all over does not need to wash, except for the feet, to be entirely clean. And you disciples are clean…
Remember, they’d already completed the purification rituals required for the Passover. They’d already bathed; they were clean. All but one of them.
And you disciples are clean, but not all of you.” 11 For Jesus knew who would betray him. That is what he meant when he said, “Not all of you are clean.”
12 After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? 13 You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. 14 And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. 15 I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.
“After washing their feet…” Did you catch that in verse 12? John writes, “after washing their feet…”
I don’t want us to miss this because this may be the most scandalous part of the whole ordeal, especially in light of verses 10 and 11. Jesus knew that one of the 12 would betray him. He knew that there was one person there with unclean motives.
And he washed their feet anyway! What kind of love is this?! That the rat, the traitor, would receive the same tender loving kindness as everyone else around the table?!
Verse 21:
21 Now Jesus was deeply troubled, and he exclaimed, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me!”
22 The disciples looked at each other, wondering whom he could mean. 23 The disciple Jesus loved was sitting next to Jesus at the table. 24 Simon Peter motioned to him to ask, “Who’s he talking about?”
Have you ever sat across from someone in a meeting and tried to communicate something important without using words? I do it all the time! My husband will tell you - I can say more with my eyes than I can with my mouth. Just gesturing! And subtle head nodding! That’s what’s happening here! Peter motions to John, who’s known as ‘the disciple Jesus loved’, and John is picking up what Peter is laying down! So…
Verse 25:
25 So that disciple leaned over to Jesus and asked, “Lord, who is it?”
26 Jesus responded, “It is the one to whom I give the bread I dip in the bowl.” And when he had dipped it, he gave it to Judas, son of Simon Iscariot.
I want to go back to that image one more time.
You may have already noticed, but if you look closely, the bottoms of the disciples’ feet are clean, and there’s an empty space at Jesus’ left side. We can now see that this painting represents the moments just after Judas took his leave into the night.
This is a depiction of Jesus’ final peaceful moments with his disciples. The betrayal is already underway. Soon, they will all leave the table and head to the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus will be arrested and handed over to be crucified.
So how does Jesus choose to spend these precious final moments with his closest friends? He gives them one more commandment:
Jesus says in verse 33:
33 Dear children, I will be with you only a little longer… 34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
LOVE EACH OTHER, he says! Love each other the way that I have loved you!
This is real love! Real love goes far beyond mere sentiment and far beyond warm feelings! Real love is action. And this is what the writer John wants us to know! He says it famously in chapter 3 of this gospel:
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
We know God loved, because God gave!
And John emphasizes this love in his letter: 1st John 3:16 says
16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 John 3:16
Jesus loved because Jesus gave!! And so are we to give of ourselves! This is real love! The apostle Paul confirms in Romans 5:8:
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. Romans 5:8
What kind of love is this?!
If “We all are born into the world looking for someone who is looking for us…” If that’s true, then I could be wrong, but I believe that Jesus is that someone we are all born looking for. And Jesus is that someone who is ACTIVELY looking for us!
“We all are born into the world looking for someone who is looking for us…”
Jesus says in Luke 19 that he came to seek and to save that which was lost!
His love is the kind that doesn’t care about maintaining appearances. He will set aside his own dignity to stoop low and wash our dirty feet.
Whether we’re beloved like John or misguided like Peter, Jesus approaches us with the invitation to belong! Even, watch this now, even when we are actively working against him! When we are his enemy, when we’re Judas! In love, He washes our feet ANYWAY! He loves us, with a scandalously incomprehensible love.
Is that the Jesus you know?
Is that the Jesus you were taught to know?
I think there are some of us who have only ever encountered inaccurate representations of Jesus.
Or like Da Vinci’s ‘Last Supper’, maybe we’ve seen depictions of Jesus that were partially true but didn’t tell the full story.
That’s how it was for me, growing up. I’ve shared this story before, but I grew up in a Pentecostal church. And there was a man, an older, stately man named Clarence, who stood at the front entrance every Sunday and shook every person’s hand who came through the door.
And from the time I was 3 years old, Clarence would shake my hand. And I liked the guy. He made me feel seen. I felt valued. For me, as a young kid, he was a representation of Jesus’ love, as he shook my hand week after week… Until I turned 16.
I’ll admit that my parents were a bit unconventional in their parenting (to say the least). But for my 16th birthday, they said that I could choose either a piercing or a tattoo.
And I, of course, chose a tattoo - which I proudly wore to church! But when Clarence saw my new ink, he looked at me disapprovingly and refused to shake my hand as a 16-year-old girl. He looked me in the eyes and said, “I don’t associate with people who have tattoos!” That’s what he said. And I wish I could say that that was a uniquely Clarence thing, but the sad fact is that others quickly followed suit. Soon, I had multiple people in my church, people who watched me grow up, who refused to shake my hand after I got a tattoo.
And it hurt me, deeply. It still hurts when I think about it! It hurts because somewhere inside, I knew that Clarence and his friends were inaccurate representations Jesus’ love! I knew because I had read the source material!
I knew, that even if I had made a mistake by accepting this tattoo as a birthday present, even if I had been totally in the wrong, Jesus would still have moved toward me in love, and not away from me! Don’t believe me? Ask the woman at the well! Ask the woman caught in adultery! Ask Nicodemus, or Zacchaeus, Matthew, or Peter, OR JUDAS! C’mon, get curious enough to go back to the source material! Don’t accept the false representations you have seen or are currently seeing. Don’t let the Clarences of the world speak for Jesus! Go to Jesus! Look for people who are doing their best to live and love like Jesus!
Jesus would’ve washed the feet of that 16-year-old girl! And he would’ve washed Clarence’s feet just the same.
This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 1 John 4:10-11.
Surely, we ought to love each other. But we’re humans! And humans love imperfectly.
That’s why ‘love’ is a ‘broken’ signpost! Broken because we all want it, and we all need it, but we all struggle to make sense of it, and struggle to do it well.
“We all are born into the world looking for someone who is looking for us…”
I could be wrong, but I believe that love is the universal signpost that points all of humankind toward the only love that will never fail.
The unfathomable, indescribable, wondrous love of Jesus.
This series is an invitation to wonder. To consider, or perhaps reconsider, what if it’s true? What if the love of Jesus is the very thing you inwardly desire the most? Because it’s what you were made for. I could be wrong… but I believe with all my heart that we were born to be loved, and born to reflect that love, Jesus’ love, to the world around us. JESUS LOVES YOU.